After a long day at work this week, I stopped by Mickey D's to quench a rare craving for those delicious fries (that together with a modest meat and beverage, can supply a full day's worth of caloric intake). I am eating for two, right? Okay, so I know you only need 300 extra calories a day, and that a more moderate woman would find a way to be happy with the dollar fry, but when else in a woman's life do people encourage you to "eat up" and compliment you on your "beautiful glow" despite that fact that you have added 2 pounds weekly? To add to this, my inner fry addict (who is normally repressed by heavy doses of self-administered cognitive behavioral therapy) is rarely allowed to savor the euphoria of the "fry miracle". And this is the reason for my being brought to such a state of happiness that I had to share my testimony with you. What is the fry miracle, you ask? Well, if you have to ask, you must not share my deep affection for the carbohydrate concoction, best enjoyed hot.
Fry Miracle: After devouring a fresh-out-of-the-fryer serving of fries (which you really tried to resist for the sake of the burger who must now wait a full 10 minutes to join the party in your tummy), you arrive at home to enjoy the civilized way to eat dinner (on a plate, in a non-mobile, seated position). As you unpack the bag, you discover that a handful of hot deliciousness has somehow managed to escape your initial attack. These treasures wait for you like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And since you have already eaten 500 calories worth, your self-control allows you to alternate between bites of your burger, thus extending the passionate, potato promenade to your mouth. (NOTE: if only a few, cold fries are found, this is not a miracle, but depending on how desperate you are it could result in a pleasant surprise)
One way to increase your chance for a fry miracle is to lovingly order fries for the whole family and shake the bag a few times on the way home. Technically this is morally questionable, but then again, so is "fry blasphemy" (leaving one's fries unattended, or allowing them to cool completely before consumption)--show a little respect!
Fry-lover's of the world, I know you feel me.
A second, minor blessing involves my Amazon affection. Amazon Prime is such a wonderful service. It's like having Christmas every day. Free 2 day shipping? Since you can find almost anything you would want or need on Amazon.com, there is usually little reason to buy from other sites and pay their shipping fees. Of course, you could actually shop at a "store", but gas is high, and it's not nearly as fun to go shopping with the family in a brick and mortar store as when you are surfing the web while they are playing Mario Galaxy. Some of you may be thinking, "Amazon Prime is $79 per year', to that I say: have some kids (or grandkids)! That's right, if there are but a few degrees of separation between you and a child, you can sign up for Amazon Moms, save money on stuff you have to buy to keep them alive and well cared for, and earn up to one year of Prime membership. And so I did this year. And click away, I did, saving 25-80% of the price of things I would have bought anyways. I clicked and shipped my way to Holiday Nirvana (completing one's holiday shopping with none of the holiday crowds and no worries about seeing the January CC bill). Thank you, Amazon. I know that you don't always do the best thing when it comes to what kinds of books to sell, and that you kill a lot of trees with all that shipping material, and you worsen the ozone hole with all those diesel trucks that drive so fast to get my things here in 2 days...but who's perfect? It's the free shipping that makes me happy.
Other blessings:
Upchuck-Free Days: (Think of the construction site "accident-free days" signage, then pretend your pregnant) My current record is 60. Hooray!
On Demand: Well, I actually do NOT consider Comcast a blessing, but since Netflix did not provide quite the programming I wanted, and the streaming was not always smooth, I'm going with OnDemand on this. (NOTE:Amazon instant video may become the new winner here, especially since we have the connector to show computer images on our TV and many new titles are free) This medium for movie-watching is the family way to enjoy a feature film without getting "shushed", "sighed", or "evil-eyed" at the theater. Dude, I went to the movies to see the Muppets for crying out loud, and this older woman actually moved her seat after seeing me stroll in with my two kids and nicely indicate that we had to reserve 7 other seats. I think she was worried that more little ones were on the way, but she also seemed to be annoyed that the toddler was there. Did I mention it was THE MUPPETS?!? What is wrong with the world? Anyways, since my husband had to leave the movie anyway when Zay got bored with the storyline, it stands to reason that the stress free way to have family movie-night is in the comfort of one's home. (This can be further accentuated with the addition of the "home theater", so I'm told...media room anyone?)
Sundays: Praise the Lord!So what if you can't get Chick Fil A. You can wake up later, enjoy a "full breakfast" with no guilt (because of all the praising you will do in an hour), get refreshed and challenged with the Good Word, and relax with the post-worship nap (even better when it is only the kids that want the nap, and the parents can...well...let's just say, there's no better bonus to my week than mid-day loving--marital bliss). After all that, you have several hours of non-structured possibilities. Go to the park, play a few games, or watch football. (In some homes, watching football is a somewhat of a required activity, but that is why God inspired smartphones!) In all, since Saturdays are laden with dirty laundry, restocking one's fridge, and assorted activities that your kids insist on participating in (due to the loss of the Thrashers to Canada, and overall regional dearth of hockey programs within reasonable distance of ATL, I'm pretty sure there is a journey into little league baseball in my near future)- Sundays rule. (I'm not sure this preference for Sundays is limited to Christians, but it certainly is a major bonus to have spiritual, mental, and physical rejuvenation occur on the same day).
I guess I should get some sleep now...so I can fully enjoy my Sunday!
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