French Fries, Free Shipping, and Other Blessings

After a long day at work this week, I stopped by Mickey D's to quench a rare craving for those delicious fries (that together with a modest meat and beverage, can supply a full day's worth of caloric intake). I am eating for two, right? Okay, so I know you only need 300 extra calories a day, and that a more moderate woman would find a way to be happy with the dollar fry, but when else in a woman's life do people encourage you to "eat up" and compliment you on your "beautiful glow" despite that fact that you have added 2 pounds weekly? To add to this, my inner fry addict (who is normally repressed by heavy doses of self-administered cognitive behavioral therapy) is rarely allowed to savor the euphoria of the "fry miracle". And this is the reason for my being brought to such a state of happiness that I had to share my testimony with you. What is the fry miracle, you ask? Well, if you have to ask, you must not share my deep affection for the carbohydrate concoction, best enjoyed hot.
Fry Miracle: After devouring a fresh-out-of-the-fryer serving of fries (which you really tried to resist for the sake of the burger who must now wait a full 10 minutes to join the party in your tummy), you arrive at home to enjoy the civilized way to eat dinner (on a plate, in a non-mobile, seated position). As you unpack the bag, you discover that a handful of hot deliciousness has somehow managed to escape your initial attack. These treasures wait for you like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And since you have already eaten 500 calories worth, your self-control allows you to alternate between bites of your burger, thus extending the passionate, potato promenade to your mouth. (NOTE: if only a few, cold fries are found, this is not a miracle, but depending on how desperate you are it could result in a pleasant surprise)
One way to increase your chance for a fry miracle is to lovingly order fries for the whole family and shake the bag a few times on the way home. Technically this is morally questionable, but then again, so is "fry blasphemy" (leaving one's fries unattended, or allowing them to cool completely before consumption)--show a little respect!
Fry-lover's of the world, I know you feel me.

A second, minor blessing involves my Amazon affection. Amazon Prime is such a wonderful service. It's like having Christmas every day. Free 2 day shipping? Since you can find almost anything you would want or need on Amazon.com, there is usually little reason to buy from other sites and pay their shipping fees. Of course, you could actually shop at a "store", but gas is high, and it's not nearly as fun to go shopping with the family in a brick and mortar store as when you are surfing the web while they are playing Mario Galaxy. Some of you may be thinking, "Amazon Prime is $79 per year', to that I say: have some kids (or grandkids)! That's right, if there are but a few degrees of separation between you and a child, you can sign up for Amazon Moms, save money on stuff you have to buy to keep them alive and well cared for, and earn up to one year of Prime membership. And so I did this year. And click away, I did, saving 25-80% of the price of things I would have bought anyways. I clicked and shipped my way to Holiday Nirvana (completing one's holiday shopping with none of the holiday crowds and no worries about seeing the January CC bill). Thank you, Amazon. I know that you don't always do the best thing when it comes to what kinds of books to sell, and that you kill a lot of trees with all that shipping material, and you worsen the ozone hole with all those diesel trucks that drive so fast to get my things here in 2 days...but who's perfect? It's the free shipping that makes me happy.

Other blessings:
Upchuck-Free Days: (Think of the construction site "accident-free days" signage, then pretend your pregnant) My current record is 60. Hooray!

On Demand: Well, I actually do NOT consider Comcast a blessing, but since Netflix did not provide quite the programming I wanted, and the streaming was not always smooth, I'm going with OnDemand on this. (NOTE:Amazon instant video may become the new winner here, especially since we have the connector to show computer images on our TV and many new titles are free) This medium for movie-watching is the family way to enjoy a feature film without getting "shushed", "sighed", or "evil-eyed" at the theater. Dude, I went to the movies to see the Muppets for crying out loud, and this older woman actually moved her seat after seeing me stroll in with my two kids and nicely indicate that we had to reserve 7 other seats. I think she was worried that more little ones were on the way, but she also seemed to be annoyed that the toddler was there. Did I mention it was THE MUPPETS?!? What is wrong with the world? Anyways, since my husband had to leave the movie anyway when Zay got bored with the storyline, it stands to reason that the stress free way to have family movie-night is in the comfort of one's home. (This can be further accentuated with the addition of the "home theater", so I'm told...media room anyone?)

Sundays: Praise the Lord!So what if you can't get Chick Fil A. You can wake up later, enjoy a "full breakfast" with no guilt (because of all the praising you will do in an hour), get refreshed and challenged with the Good Word, and relax with the post-worship nap (even better when it is only the kids that want the nap, and the parents can...well...let's just say, there's no better bonus to my week than mid-day loving--marital bliss). After all that, you have several hours of non-structured possibilities. Go to the park, play a few games, or watch football. (In some homes, watching football is a somewhat of a required activity, but that is why God inspired smartphones!) In all, since Saturdays are laden with dirty laundry, restocking one's fridge, and assorted activities that your kids insist on participating in (due to the loss of the Thrashers to Canada, and overall regional dearth of hockey programs within reasonable distance of ATL, I'm pretty sure there is a journey into little league baseball in my near future)- Sundays rule. (I'm not sure this preference for Sundays is limited to Christians, but it certainly is a major bonus to have spiritual, mental, and physical rejuvenation occur on the same day).

I guess I should get some sleep now...so I can fully enjoy my Sunday!

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

I'm still in shock. I keep trying to figure out how I can possibly become a mother of a daughter? The ultrasound was pretty clear, so I can't really stay in denial. Also new, will be the closely spaced kids. I'm pretty sure that Isaiah is going to be amused at first, like "Wow, what a cool new pet!". But I'm also pretty sure that after a few weeks of keeping her around, I'm going to have to make sure not to leave them in the same room alone.
ME: "What happened to your sister? How did she get on the floor?"
ZAY: "Baby rolled over, Mommy!"
ME: incredulous gasp

Now that I'm going to have a daughter, I decided that I want to learn how to sew. I borrowed a sewing machine from my mother in law, and read up on "what is a serger?" My mom is a sewing guru and says "if you can read, you can sew" (which does not bode well if I have problems). Sewing is cool, and functional. I'll be sure to post my first creation (don't hold your breath waiting on that one).
I guess I'll have to remember how to do hair.
And I'm pretty sure I'll have to give up the "No girl's allowed-Except Mommy" onesie. (She's kicking the snot out of me right now. So that's a yes.)
Avi is already planning out all the ways he will rise to her defense if anyone messes with her.
Isaiah is already tormenting her by drumming on her head.
Akil is no longer making crazy faces at my name suggestions.
I am...still kinda in shock. But, it's a good kind of shock. Not like the kind I got when I decided to install a ceiling fan in my first apartment without shutting off the power supply. Not quite as mind numbing as the shock I got when I'm enjoying a perfectly regularly, romantic dinner at the melting pot and Akil starts rambling about how much he loves me, stands up, gets on one knee, and blinds me with a diamond that looks kinda like an--OMG!
...I guess it's somewhere in between those two.

Luckily we live 10 minutes from the hospital. I did try to talk Akil into a home birth, but: 1) I think they're illegal in Georgia 2) He started getting worried I was going to stop shaving my armpits and get all granola crunchy on him 3) We're only renting this spot.
I am hoping that my voucher from "Eve's curse" extends to XX children as well, or at least that it has more to do with the girth of my hips and ridiculous pain tolerance than anything else.
But totally squashed is my strategy for getting 4 kids ("Don't you want to try for a girl?")...I guess I'll have to get #4 with my womanly appeal alone. :)

For now: My little princess. My springtime refreshment.

Gratitude

Our Thanksgiving season this year was remarkable in several ways. Firstly, we found out that we are adding a baby girl to our family. What a rush! Secondly, my dearest friend had her first baby! Lucky for me, she was past due, so I was able to see her baby just hours after she was born on Thanksgiving Day. Given that my friend has been one of my first hospital visitors for both of my kids, it was really a treat to be able to return the favor. Plus I got a little practice changing baby girl diapers. (It's different, that's for sure!) Although we had to endure a 12 hour drive that I thought would never end, it was worth it. I'm not sure that I'll be doing that again any time soon, but you never know.

In my reflections of this year, as it comes to a close, I have several insights that are worth sharing. This year for me was filled with a theme of "gratitude". Gratitude is also a character trait, the one with the strongest association to mental well-being, and one that you can practice. We practice this at home with my son, Avi by discussing "what went well" that day. Studies show that if you keep a gratitude journal, you can improve your mood. To me this is the surface level of gratitude. I believe that deep gratitude is earned, especially when you have endured difficult times. You can truly be grateful for a well-orchestrated Thanksgiving meal when you have once looked into your cupboards and seen them bare. Gratitude is looking around to see your family grow and laugh together across the generations, knowing that some of your cherished loved ones have passed away and can only smile from Heaven. You can truly be thankful for a loving, generous heart, when you have re-payed evil with good, and can tolerate an offense. To live a life free of bitterness and strife is surely something to be thankful for, if you can manage to attain it. I'm also thankful for wisdom that I have gained over the years. Wisdom that keeps my words few, and my decisions sound. I am full of gratitude that I live in my own world of peace, impervious to the chaos around me, dwelling in the secret place of the Most High, abiding under the shadow of the Almighty.
Those are the big things. But I'm also full of gratitude for the little things. Like when my husband hand delivers the remote from 2 feet away. Or when Isaiah gives me a spontaneous sloppy wet kiss for no reason. Or when I catch Avi doing something good and get to praise him for it, watching him grin from ear to ear.
For some people, gratitude is a natural, automatic experience. They are always looking on the bright side, seeing the silver lining in all the clouds without effort. For me is has been a learned skill that I've made a habit. Like Victor Frankel, I have searched for meaning in suffering, and found the gratitude that comes with realizing how precious peace of mind is. Bearing witness to the suffering of others, and playing a role in alleviating their psychic pain is a powerful experience that you don't have to go to medical school for, but one I'm glad to be trained to recognize.
In conclusion, 2011 has been a year of milestones and transitions. And in my changing and growing, I discovered a miracle. Going through tests and trials from a centered, inner space is magical. You come out being so thankful for every challenge that comes your way. You welcome adversity as your ally in self-reflection and self-awareness. Who am I really? When the pressure builds, what comes out? When I am tested, will I "come forth as gold"? Is my humility growing? Do I have a servant's heart?
The bumps of life will be my mirror. I am thankful for the opportunity to see where I am, and the chance to see where I want to go next.

HotLanta Lovin'

Well, It's pretty sad that April was the last time I posted anything. I do have a decent excuse, though. Moving 800 miles closer to the equator, starting a new job, kinda kept me busy. But we really are enjoying the South. Avi is constantly warning me "not to catch the Southern" (accent, that is) and Zay is bulldozing through his daycare. I'm going to get more pics up here and post more regular accounts...Promise. :)

Embracing Change

It's hard to imagine that one short year ago, I was mother of one, building raised garden beds out back, and so clueless about how my life would change in a few weeks. But here I am, with Mr. Squirmy who never stays still, even in his sleep, and Cool Cat Avi, who continually surprises me with his unusual interests and sensitive demeanor. I also had some inkling that we would eventually outgrow our townhouse, but I enjoyed putting in hardwood floors, painting the rooms, and making my backyard something more than a weed garden. So as I prepare to move in the hot Summer to the South, I can only speculate about what I will think a year from now. Already I've seen how months of obsessing over job prospects can evaporate into the mists of forgotten memories as soon as you sign a contract. I wonder if my hours of searching for condos we can live in without going crazy will remotely resemble our ultimate choice, or if my weekend chipping away at all the junk we accumulate will actually help. A year from now, these struggles (and others like them) may amount to a dinner joke, but I doubt it will be a defining moment in our lives.
What will we remember? Will we miss our old familiar streets? Our friends and family that are so easy to take for granted? Having no idea what it's like to be uprooted, I have no comparisons, no road map. I chuckle at Avi's comments "I hope our next house has a balcony and a pool" or "I think I'm going to like our next place better" or "isn't your new job going to pay you a million dollars?" (yeah right!). It helps me not think about the little things, like where I'm going to get my hair done (I've been going to the same salon for 8 years), or what it's going to be like without a readily available source of high-quality uncompensated childcare--I mean, my mom. :) But I do think about those things, and I'll try out a babysitting service, and a few salons too. Maybe even the big changes will be forgotten.
I think what we will remember are all the new memories of places we will explore together, sharing in the novelty of streets we walk on, each of us for the first time. I'm certain we will remember fun weekend crafts, and mid week family dinners--all of which made possible by making a good job choice. And while it's true that we may get a little cabin fever living in a smaller condo, what we will gain in all-around minimalism will make sure that what is in our house are the things that matter most. (it will also encourage us to get out more)
At some point we are all given the chance to embrace change, to leap without looking, to savor the space betwixt and between. Most of the time we are too afraid, or consumed to notice the opportunity for reflection, remembrance, hope, and wonderment. As adults, we should cherish these moments. It doesn't take a life transition to give you this chance. I believe we can find the awesomeness in everyday; and when we do, we are better for it.